I'm eating all of the evidence.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
