i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
