Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
