Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
