You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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