I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
