dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
