Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
