He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
What a dumb baby whore.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
