i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
