How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
