bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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