I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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