If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
