last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
