I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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