I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
