well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
FUCK WHALES
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
