I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
