haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
