I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
