so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
