So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
