Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
