Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
