Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
