how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
