She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
