I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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