I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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