he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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