I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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