Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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