:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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