Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
even my farts smell like vagina
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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