She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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