You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
