the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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