STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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