ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
