My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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