i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
