..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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