I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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