I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize