I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
