I think my vagina is haunted
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
