How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
