that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
