forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
